Breakups are deadly concoctions of feelings that can result in unpleasant habits or situations that will fail to provide a better state of well-being. The following is a basic guide on how to survive a breakup without having to rely on tubs of icecream, romantic sob films, or an unhealthy relationship with the bed and pillows:
1. Undergo emotional catharsis
The process of purging and relieving oneself from bottled up feelings is the basic key to starting a breakup recovery. This means do what ever you have to do to belt out those emotions, it be crying, writing things down in a journal, or opening up to your friends. Every person handles catharsis in a certain way, so choose one that feels the most comfortable for you. The trick, however, is noticing when you have finished “cleansing”. Many people find themselves stuck in this first stage because after sometime, they stop expelling bad emotions and instead reminisce about moments in the relationship, thereby complicating the matter. Recognize that there is a difference between releasing the initial emotional toxins and afflicting (and then purging) pain through thoughts of the past.
2. Bring stability back into your life through routine
Though you may feel torn, destroyed or like a complete ghost immediately after your breakup, but getting back into the habit of routinely doing things will help you bring a sense of stability through your emotional turmoil. If you were (and are) an avid fan of working out, hit the gym. If songwriting is your thing, take out the notepad once more. Routine is healthy in these situations as they form pillars of support.
3. Don’t drag yourself through the mud
It’s so easy to hit that call button or send a rant to your ex’s inbox, but refrain from doing so. The temptation may be there, but over time it will become a thing of the past. Do not put yourself back into the same situations over and over by communicating to your ex — he or she has caused enough pain, so try to minimize the damage you do to yourself.
4. Focus on yourself
This is the time to be selfish! It’s a rare moment in which you should focus on your priorities and needs above all others. Know what you need, take care of yourself, and replace those negative feelings of guilt, sadness or anguish with positive ones that will ensure recovery and improvement. After all, one of your best friends in life should always be yourself.
Friends can inarguably be the strongest source of support (asides from your family), but don’t feel afraid to become involved in other social scenes as well. A new painting class, a book club, a meditation session — these are all opportunities that will allow you to not only establish new and refreshing relationships, but also to not feel alone. Some individuals respond better to emotional turmoil through solitude, but too much solitude can be ineffective and even harmful. If you still feel as though you are not up for socializing upfront, the internet and the multitude of online communities and websites can be a great alternative.
Only after successfully surviving a breakup and coming out stronger, you can then decided whether you want to get your ex back or not.