When it comes to breaking up, the very first thing you will probably tell yourself is that you should just let it go. Your friends who, no doubt, mean you well will probably echo the same sentiment. Nevertheless, the heart wants what the heart wants and though believers of the cosmic laws will tell you it was just not meant to be, there is always that little tug that says “go get him back”. Relationship breakups are most certainly not the end of the world. While they might feel that way, they are not always final for many. If you feel like yours is one of those unfinished businesses, here are some tips to “secretly manipulate” him to make him come back.
One of the most fatal things you could ever do while trying to get him back is to constantly message him about missing him and feeling lost without him. If that is how you truly feel, you will have to keep all that to yourself. Psychology teaches that an individual who has the upper hand at the end of any relationship enjoys the notion of being wanted but revels in the ability to deny giving what is being asked for, but be it an ego complex or simply a lack of interest, your motives are best served by ignoring him for a while. He will expect you to nag, do not give him the satisfaction and you will have him questioning whether you really loved him, whether or not you have someone else and whether or not you really wanted him to go. Either way he will be thinking of you and that is exactly what you want.
Invest in a new you
One should never let a breakup change who you are. Instead it should be a wakeup call to fix the things that you might have let slide out because of being too comfortable in your relationship. This is the time to invest in a new and revitalised you. Spend some time in the spa and use your new found singularity to figure out what went wrong and what you contributed to the downward slope of your relationship. Embrace your pain and listen to the lessons it teaches. Most of us feel the need to hide away from the world and that is ok but when you emerge, do so with a new and invigorated you and while you are at it, focus on some things you enjoy. If he sees you happy without him he will want you back.
Learn a bit of reverse psychology
After you have starved him of your attention for a few weeks, you can then initiate contact or respond to a message he might have sent in a jovial nonchalant way. Surely, all you want is to fall in his arms right now, but that is going push him away, so appear relatively uninterested but amiable. Answer the questions he might ask with short answers that do not divulge much and this mystery will peak his interest. If he invites you out to hang as platonic friends do not play coy and do not play hard to get, men see right through that and you will lose your chance. Accept the invitation but do not appear too eager. Maintain a cool, calm and collected visage. If it turns out that he is already seeing someone new, do not show that you are jealous, hide that little green monster and be supportive. He will hold you with high respect and this will open a door towards a more integrated kind of friendship where he will feel it safe to come to you to talk.
A deep understanding of human psychology will greatly improve your chances of winning him back.
Do not cater to all his needs
Yes, you are working on a friendship but this does not make you his significant other, this makes you friends and so catering to all his needs is a no no. If you do this, then he will figure out he has no need to get back with you because you give him everything he wants outside of a relationship. He needs to feel like he has lost something, so ignore his phone calls sometimes and do not always be readily available to go out with him.
Be the you he fell in love with
Sometimes we lose ourselves in relationships without even knowing it and that is what causes the breakdown. There is no rewind button in life but take some time as you open up the channels of friendship again, to find that you that you were and no doubt truly are and embrace that old self. As you both become friends the familiar will not only endear him to you but it will remind him of why he had been willing to have a relationship with you before and this is the start to something new and even more beautiful than it was before.
Breaking up is not a death sentence and though your heart may have walked the plank there is still hope to have the one you really want back. Breathe and follow these steps to make him come back.