Anyone who has been through a breakup knows the emotional pains associated with it. Only an emotionless and heartless person can be spared of such pain, but you are obviously not that kind, otherwise you wouldn’t be here. If you have never studied the basics of human psychology in a relationship, you are probably doing the mistakes that could be ruining your chances of reuniting with your ex.
First of all, you have to be sure that getting back with your ex is the right thing to do. If you had serious problems, such as an abusive partner, then it is best to leave for good. On the other hand, if you loved your partner dearly and you feel your ex-partner still has feelings for you, even after the breakup, then by all means you must fight to win back the love. Most of the time, a breakup doesn’t mean that there is no love left between the two of you. Maybe certain needs and desires were not being met and that’s why you drifted away from each other.
The very first mistake most people do right after a breakup is they beg their exes to be back together and that they are willing to do absolutely anything to make the relationship work. Funnily, sometimes they don’t even bother to understand what went wrong, or whether is was their fault or not, They just start pleading their exes to come back. When you act like this, not only are showing how needy and desperate you are, but you are also giving your ex all the power. You basically become the puppy that is craving for love and affection from his master. When your ex knows he or she has total control over the situation, your ex will have no fear of losing you. It is very important that your understands that he or she may lose you for good is no action is taken.
Another common mistake that is ruining your chances of reuniting with your ex is the use of threats and making your ex feel guilty. You might think that reminding your ex of all the promises you made together and how they are being broken is going to make him or her feel guilty and he or she will come back to you to fulfil those promises. It’s even worse when you threaten your ex to come back or you would harm yourself. All these tactics don’t really work and can even push your ex to the point that he or she will stop caring and get fed up of all your lame dirty tricks. The only thing that’s going to happen is you losing your dignity and hurting yourself even more.
Stalking your ex is yet another mistake that has to be avoided. Nowadays, with people sharing their lives on social media websites, it has become so much easier to stalk anyone online. By knowing what your ex is doing and where he is going will only mess up your brain even more. You will feel the urge to show up at the same place where your ex is going, when you really shouldn’t. There is a reason why the “no contact rule” is mentioned in almost every relationship advice book, it’s because it works.
Getting into a “rebound relationship” just to make your ex jealous is also not a great idea. It might be the factor that causes him or her to forget you and move on for good, because the person would think that you have moved on too. While there is nothing wrong to go out with someone to have a good time and forget your sorrows, it shouldn’t be used as a tactic to get your ex back.
Are you taking good care of yourself after the breakup? If not, you really should. Staying at home and confined to your room all day will make you sick and depressed. You think to breathe some fresh air, meet some new people, take a vacation and travel to your favourite destination. You are single again for the time being, so make the most of it. Sometimes, it’s good to be a little selfish and do things that make you happy. Always thinking about your ex relationship is not good, there is so much more in life than just a love story.
Of course, we have no idea what the two of you have been through when you were together, but you must also accept the breakup. Don’t be in denial. Likewise, your friends and family probably have no idea what you and you partner have been through, so it is very difficult to tell you what the right thing to do. Only you and your heart knows. While in moments like these, friends and family are crucial, you shouldn’t be taking their advice too seriously. They want your good and can’t see you sad and depressed, that’s why they might encourage you to move on.
During the breakup, if you are always nagging your ex, he or she will get fed up and would want to run away. But if you give the person some time and space to reflect on everything, then he or she might realise your importance and start missing you.
Above all, you need to have a plan for reuniting with your ex. Without any plan, you are taking a risk and frankly at this point, you don’t want to take any kind of risk.