We’ve all been there. You’ve had a breakup that ended up breaking you. Now you need help getting your ex back but you don’t know how to go about doing it. Maybe you are thinking to yourself “I would do anything, if I just knew what I had to do, I would get it done and get him back”. Well, you might just find an answer here.
You do nothing.
“What? I just do absolutely nothing and he will come back?” Yes and no. Your ex has moved on because he no longer benefits from your relationship. This can happen for any number of reasons, but many times it happens when you get too attached and become a burden in his life. If you really want your ex back, you have to make some changes.
“But you said make changes, how is that doing nothing?”
What we’re talking about here is something called the “no contact rule”. It’s simple, you just avoid contact with your ex as much as you can. Don’t “accidentally” bump into him, respond to his text messages or phone calls and DO NOT meet up with him. It seems counter intuitive, but it accomplishes something very important. If your ex contacts you shortly after a breakup, the best thing you can probably hope for is a very brief reunion followed by yet another breakup. On the other hand, if your ex is totally starved of contact he will start to forget the bad things and remember the good ones. Old arguments will fade away and he will begin to reminisce about the high points of the relationship. Memory bias is not an anecdote, it’s a scientifically proven fact. The more time passes, the stronger the effect will be.
The science of psychology aside, there are other very important reasons to avoid your ex after a breakup. First, he has probably built some very strong walls to prepare himself for leaving the relationship. It does not matter how hard you try, attempting to knock down those walls will only make them stronger. Furthermore, you’re probably hurt right now and radiating negative emotions. Negative emotions aren’t attractive. The worst thing you can do is make your ex’s last memories of you be negative.
How long will this take?
Getting your ex back through the no contact rule will take time. 30 days may be an absolute minimum. Don’t be fooled by any messages you receive before then. There are two things that need to happen and both of them can take a while. First, your ex needs to forget why he left and start remembering what was good about the relationship. Secondly, once 30 days or more has passed your ex needs to see that you are fully capable of moving on and therefore you are a valuable partner.
The no contact rule is not a gimmick or cheap mind game. It’s detox. Ask yourself how badly you want to be reunited with your ex. If you want it badly enough you’re going to have to put some hard work in. A relationship is like to links in a chain, and if you got dumped then obviously there’s a weak link. Don’t be discouraged, all that means is you have the power to make repairs. Walk away, fix yourself and come back refreshed.
No contact rule is just one trick in the books, discover other tricks and improve your chances of winning your ex back.