What did your ex tell you before breaking up?
Did he elaborate on the real reason why he is leaving? Probably not! Like most people, he probably used one of the generic breakup lines, such as:
- It’s not you, it’s me.
- We are not compatible.
- We are so different from each other.
- I need some time to be alone.
- I am not ready for a serious relationship.
As you can see, such lines don’t really state any actual reason. They seem more like excuses to get out of the relationship as soon as possible. And then, whichever line he used, you will be marked by those words, and you will wonder what he really meant. In fact, he didn’t mean anything at all.
Truly speaking, your ex lied (consciously or unconsciously, only he knows)! He felt this strong urge to breakup, and he did so by using a lie without digging deeper to find the actual reason. If he did, he would have realized that the problem can actually be solved and there was no need to split.
Now if you want to get your ex back, it’s up to you to dig deeper and uncover the real reason your ex dumped you.
What’s the real reason?
Your boyfriend had been in love with you, he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. He can’t just change his mind one day and just dump you. The truth is something that was there before is no longer there now.
He lost hope of ever having that thing back.
Whatever it was that went missing, he probably thought your relationship will never be the same without it and he decided to break up. He certainly had dreams for the future, just like you too. Now, the future seems blur because of the missing thing and he just couldn’t stand being together.
As we said before, had he chosen to bring up the real reason (the missing thing), your relationship would have survived.
Why did he lie then?
There could be many reasons.
- Maybe your ex didn’t realize it himself that he wants to split because of that missing thing.
- Maybe he had already decided that nothing could have been done to change the situation (he might have been wrong though).
- Maybe he didn’t want to force you to change and be unhappy just for the sake of saving the relationship.
But if you found the real reason, it would be possible for you to do what it takes so that he regains the hope to have a beautiful future with you. And he would know that he didn’t force you in any way and deep inside you are still the same person he fell in love with.
You’re probably asking yourself how you can find out what that missing thing is. An effective way to do so is by discovering what your boyfriend always dreamt of. What is it that he wanted in the relationship more than anything, and if that thing is still there.
If you had been together for a while, you can assured that he wanted to be with you and had plans together, that’s why he sticked with you for so long.
Unfortunately, we can’t tell you what exactly that missing thing is for you. Only you can find out what it is. But remember, what seems trivial to you may have been very important to your ex. So, now is the time for you to reflect on every aspect of your relationship and discover the real reason.
The real reason.
If you think you have uncovered the real reason, the obvious thing to do is to change it back to how it used to be. This is, by far, the most sustainable and efficient way to get back your ex and make him stay forever.