There is a reason why the “no contact rule” is mentioned in almost every dating advice book. It’s because it works. In fact, it works well for both forgetting your ex and getting back with your ex. How can not being in touch with your ex help you get that person back? Let’s find out…
Have you ever wondered about those people who stay friends with their exes? If they truly want to stay friends, then it’s fine to stay in touch. But if someone wants to be back together, it’s a bad idea to pretend to be friends. You want to become a couple again, so be true to yourself and don’t become just a friend.
The “no contact rule” will give you the time you need to heal your broken heart. It really hurts when the one you love dumps you, and staying around that person after a breakup hurts even more. In these matters, time is a great healer. It is important to heal your heart wounds before you work towards getting your ex back, otherwise these wounds can someday be fatal to the relationship.
At the same time when you’re healing yourself, you will become more forgiving. You will be able to forgive your ex for his or her mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes, some are serious ones while others are less important. You will have all the time you need to ponder on the mistakes and whether they are serious or not.
An uncertain relationship can make you more frustrated. That’s exactly what will happened when you’re still in touch with an ex and you still love him or her. You will have hopes that you will rebuild your relationship, when in fact it can’t be rebuilt so easily. It could takes you months or even years to realize that and in the end you would be much more frustrated, sad and depressed. You might even get to the point of begging your ex to take you back, while losing all your dignity at the same time.
The “no contact rule” helps you to disconnect emotionally with your ex. If you want to reconnect again, you will have to disconnect first so you clean up your messy love life and emotions. Then, you will be able to start afresh, leaving all the negativity of the broken relationship behind you. You won’t even freak out if you get to know that your ex is dating someone else.
At this stage, you shouldn’t be calling or texting your ex either. Calling your ex to ask how he or she is doing is a well-known and lame excuse how desperate you are to be back with that person. If your ex calls you, you shouldn’t pick it up, or if you do, just have a very brief conversion by pretending you are busy. It should feel genuine though. Avoid hanging out with common friends so you won’t bump into each other awkwardly.
The same applies online too, you shouldn’t be stalking your ex online to see what he or she is up to, always checking his or her status, secretly wishing your ex is still single. None of that matters right now, if you are meant to be together, it will happen regardless of their actual relationship status. If your ex is in a relationship right now, it’s most likely a rebound relationship that wouldn’t last long.
So, how long should you apply the “no contact rule”? There is no exact time that you should apply it, it all depends on you and your state of mind. You only need to apply it long enough so as to get yourself together and get your mind straight. When you feel ready, you should gradually get in touch with your ex again, then you can apply other techniques to get back your ex.